This happens all the time when I'm attending an IEP meeting either in person or by phone. There's an extra elephant in the room. There are always many, but this one REALLY bothers me. It's that condescending tone from administration that says "c'mon parent, you need to know that your child is only capable of so much". No, they don't really say that (at least not when I'm policing the meeting), but you know that tone. UGH! Sometimes it's so frustrating that I just call that elephant out and say... "I understand what you are saying (to the admin), but you need to realize that this parent lives in reality. She knows what her child is capable of and that is why we are asking for (better placement, curriculum, services, etc...)" Oh, man, you should see their face when this happens! Most put their head down because they don't want me to see their rosy cheeks. Yes, yes I did just call you out for treating this parent like her child is worth less than what she is asking. If you continue to treat her this way... I'll do it again and I'll stop this meeting to make sure everything is in writing. No, I don't have to say that second part. It's understood. Her bluff has been called. Moving on. The parent doesn't have to say a word in this situation. In fact, this is about the time she realizes that she is not going to need that tissue box in front of her. She's got this. The door is open. The opportunity is here. Let's go! If that elephant is in your meeting room. The elephant that the admin or a team member brings to make you feel that your child is not capable of more. KICK THAT ELEPHANT OUT! Do you need help finding the right words to make that happen? Do you need more support to make that happen? Let's do this!